Saturday, August 13, 2011

This Life Isn't My Own

I just spent over 2 months of my summer working a camp called Centrikid. I was with a team of 19 college students and we traveled all over country to share the gospel with thousands of kids. And going into the summer, I thought I would be teaching kids about what it meant to become a follower of Christ, but I didn't realize how much I would learn myself from my camp experience. 

This summer I spent a majority of my quiet time looking at the life of Paul. Our theme for camp this summer was Shipwreck Island and the Bible Study material was based on looking at Paul's life and so I thought I would do a deeper study on Paul during my quiet time. One thing that God really showed me through  studying the letters of Paul is that my life is not my own. Paul spent the first half of his life doing what he wanted and God changed him and Paul began living his life for Christ. His life was no longer his own. He wrote::"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." -Galatians 2:20


Reading this led me to Acts 20:24 where Paul is found saying this to the elders of Ephesus:: "But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus--the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God."


God really opened up my eyes to my selfishness after reading these few verses. I'm so guilty of living my life for myself. Who am I to tell God "no"? Who am I to tell God that I love things of this world more than Him? Who am I to put my desires and wants before the God who sent his only son to die for me so that I may live? I wrote down these questions in my journal and it tore me up inside because I do all of these things. I've been praying for the past few weeks that God would consume me with himself and that my sinful wants and desires would die. I've been praying that He would give me the mind of urgency to tell others about Christ and that He would make that my number one priority. 


I've been asked by friends and family why I would give up my summer to work camp when I could be going on vacation or spending time relaxing. Now, more than ever, that question seems so crazy to me. It makes me want to ask, "Why wouldn't I spend the summer sharing the gospel to kids? Why wouldn't I give up 2 months of my summer after everything Christ has done for me? And this question is the one I've been asking myself lately:: "Why have I ONLY been giving up my summers for Christ, why not every second of every day 12 months out of the year?" It's been humbling to look back at what God has shown me and today He reminded me again that my life is not my own when I read Jeremiah 10:23, "I know, Lord, that our lives are not my own. We are not able to plan our own course."


This video shows what I spent doing all summer, but it's my goal to make my life look that this year round, all the time, 24-7. 





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